Eddy,
I have chills all over my body. What an inspired email! I have a question, though. You mention your conscience discouraged you from committing “bad” acts. What mechanism did your conscience deploy to discourage those acts? Anyone can judge an act as good or bad, but what motivated you to abstain from acts your mother yearned to punish?
Yours faithfully,
Jeff Holiday
Senior Negotiator, VP of Sales, Buttered Up, Inc.