I don’t trust men with notebooks .

First , men with notebooks are fettered to lugging pen and paper with them at all times. What if you think of a great idea , but can’t carry around a pen, or a leather-bound journal? What do you do? Do you write the idea down in your phone, then write it down later in your book? If this is the case , wouldn’t it be more efficient , more logical , to simply deposit your ideas onto your phone , rather than , in addition thereto, script the same in a book? The thought is criminal and vexes me .

Second, and more importantly: notebooks are subject to being lost or stolen by your enemies . Surely it is the case that if you are so witty, so clever, so fertile with repartee , that you do , in fact , abscond with your notebook to all sorts of different places, including public places. At these venues , your notebook is likely to get lost or stolen by bad actors. These bad actors could be jealous of your oh-so valuable thoughts, and seek to steal them, like a trade secret . Or they could , out of spite or blind envy, seek to destroy your journal.

This is precisely what happened to me. In my youth, I carried around a joke book where I had a collection of puns . I would recite these puns to my peers , garnering much applause and esteem. One day, at a speech tournament , I lost my joke book. Later did I learn one malfeasor — who shall remain anonymous though I know who it is — robbed me blind of my joke book , and ostensibly bragged about the crime to his accomplices after the fact (which is how I learned about it). He robbed me out of sheer malice for my joy and for spreading cheer! Notwithstanding, it was I who had the last laugh …. none of the jokes were mine !!!! Every single joke in that book I had scalped off the internet !

In short , the use of a notebook to catalog your thoughts is sheer vanity. It harkens back to a romanticism of an authentic self with an authentic handwriting that no one else can steal or imitate . This is simply a folly, since anyone can take the text of your notebook, and copy it in their own handwriting ! Your handwriting , your words , and yourself are three separate entities, and never the twain shall meet. If you truly seek to claim your voice — like an encryption against plagiarism or protection against others misrepresenting you— look not towards your notebook but towards your words , your grammar — your style .